Why am I doing the Weight Loss Challenge Contest?
I'm doing it because I want to live longer and be healthy. For the month of December there are so many bad things that have happened in my life. I have lost loved ones and my husband has almost died twice. When he got hurt in Dec 2010 he wasn't even aware of what month it was because of his injury and he kept telling them it was September. We were married in September and both of our birthdays are in September as well so my sister and I agreed then we would no longer celebrate December and It would be referred to as September. My husband later agreed.
This year towards the end and seeing my weight continue to climb I decided it was time to make something positive come out of the last month of the year instead of all the bad things. I am taking charge of my health and I'm going to shed all these unwanted unhealthy pounds.I've been married for 21 years and I want to be here with my husband another 21 or more years. I love him more than anything and couldn't stand to be without him and I know he would be devastated if he lost me as well.
I took part in the contest last year and during the 2nd month I GAINED weight so I quit discouraged. I wasn't on a team and had no other support except for my family. I didn't exercise and was hoping It would just fall off as easily as it snuck up upon me. This year is going to be different. Not only do I still have the outpouring support of my family I have the support of all my friends at Nampa Fit Studio as well. I exercise at least twice a day 6 days a week. They make exercise enjoyable.
How did I get to this point in my life?
I turn to food as a comforting mechanism. There were many bad things that happened to me as a little kid and it still bothers me. To deal with it I learned to eat something. They don't call it comfort food for nothing. When I was little I had a cousin have me put my chin down to my neck to see if I had a double chin. I had one and asked what it meant. he told me it meant I was going to be fat as an adult. This stuck with me but I don't think he was being mean when he had me do this.
This sucks but I guess I need to say it. From when I was very little until I was in my early teens I was sexually abused by a family member. Too afraid to say anything for fear what would happen. Would I be believed? Would I be hurt more the next time? I did have one close cousin who at one point caught on to this other person who was hurting me. He did the best he could do to protect me and would beat him up every chance he got. But it still continued.
Many emotions still come back off and on with me being abused. Even as an adult it still bothers me more than anyone will ever know.I know it is not my fault. Learning at such a young age to eat something when you are sad to make yourself feel better is such a terribly hard habit to break. I still feel helpless and I carry ALOT of anger.
As a kid I felt it was out of my control. I didn't know any better. Pretty much anything I ever wanted to eat was available to me. So when I was sad and depressed I turned to food. I didn't really gain weight though until I was about 14 when I started my period. Then I started to get a little chubby. I wasn't overly obese just not anorexic skinny. I wore a 12 to 14 in high school.
I got married when I was 18 (a few weeks shy of my 19th birthday) and was already a few months pregnant. I had quit school on my 18th birthday and my husband and I decided I really should go back to school and get my diploma since I only had my senior year left. Where I was from they were opening a teen parent school. You had to either be pregnant or already have a baby to attend. It covered all the core high school classes but had a nursery, preschool and parenting classes as well.
I never really was brought up with fruits and vegetables as part of the meal everytime. Not to balme my mother but she would rather take us to Burger King or Mcdonalds. And sadly my kids also didn't learn a better nutritional way to eat. But I do cook 90% of all our meals. I love to cook and I am very good at it.
When you are pregnant you naturally eat more. To me it was just like any other time. We were allowed to have food on our desks at school. The teacher didn't care. At the beginging of my pregnancy I weighed 165 lbs. By the time I was 6 months along I had reached 200 lbs. My belly was so big it hurt to walk. As a result the Dr put me on homebound schooling until my daughter was born. When I had her in Feb 1991 I was around 220 lbs. I was tested for gestational diabetes and didn't have it. I also didn't deliver a large baby. She was normal size a little over 8 lbs.
I didn't worry too much about my weight I gained because I was under the impression as soon as I gave birth it would fall off. WRONG. I lost maybe 20 lbs but would always end up gaining it back. Then 9 months later I was pregnant again. With my son I only gained 31 lbs. A significant amount less than my daughter. Even after I had him I found it difficult to lose the weight.
I started having more peristant problems with my asthma after my son was born. I know the weight didn't help. I was getting wheezy just carrying him. I had asthma problems growing up but was never treated for it. In PE I would get so wheezy and the ignorant gym teacher would yell at me and tell me I was out of shape and to step it up she didn't care. So I dreaded PE and hated her. I ultimately flumked PE in 8th grade and barely scraped by in high school (especially if it was with the same ignorant teacher).
I started going to a Pulmonologist 3 months after my son was born (Nov 1992) and was put on Prednisone to help me breathe. Are you familiar with prednisone? It's a steroid that if at all possible you should avoid. What started out as a week on them turned into over 10 years of steroid dependance. I was on a very high dose just to maintain my breathing and have any quality of life. Some of the side effects are a round face, facial hair and WEIGHT GAIN. Because of my dosage and long term use it could be considered a prescribed overdose. But what do you do? Not breathe?
When you take prednisone it makes you SO HUNGRY. Obviously I wasn't eating carrots and salad. I didn't exercise other than walking at work. I was in the hospital every 4-6 weeks because my asthma attacks would be so severe I would need IV steroids. In January 2006 I had an asthma attack that almost took my life. I was on a ventilator for almost a week. I was kept asleep and in lala land with the famous "Michael Jackson" drug. Since that time I have been on a ventilator two more times.
Thankfully I have been off the steroids for a few years. Only needing them here and there. I now get a Xolair shot once a month. It is my miracle drug. I still tend to get a little wheezy the week my shot is due so I take it easy. But I have gained so much weight it is depressing and hard to take off. Lose 5 lb gain back 7.
In 2004 I had to have back surgery on my lower back due to ruptured discs. It was a major surgery. I weighed 300 then. I know all the weight is so hard on my back but it is so hard to take off. As time progresses it seems to keep growing and growing. I have had back problems since then and the Dr was rude. He flat said there was nothing he would do for me unless I lost weight. Belittling me and asking if I knew how many bags of dog food I was carrying around and how I didn't care.
So even though my back hurt I would just suck it up because I was not going back to him. I know I need to lose weight and it does no good to say hurtful things to people. I hear the enough from total strangers when I am at the store, or when my family goes out to eat. I can feel their stares. I quit getting on the scales because frankly why bother. My clothes are getting tighter and even my fat pants that were loose I am having trouble buttoning them.
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